Don't you use that tone of voice with me!

This was mom’s warning shot over the bow. When I was a child, I’d never have the nerve to physically challenge my mother. On the other hand, I could let her know by how I said what I said what my real feelings were.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t think so, mom.”

“Well, duh!”

“Uh huh. Sure.”

The challenge is issued. The battle is joined: “Don’t you use that tone of voice with me.” Warning! Warning, Will Robinson! The next step in the interaction would be either escalation (“Go to your room!”) or a standoff, with neither of us yielding to or claiming victory over the other.

Frankly, my voice is always annoying. It’s whiny and generally has an edge to it. I’ve heard it when I have to listen to interviews I’ve taped. I’ve also heard it coming out of the mouth of both of my boys. Oh, how the worm has turned.

Now I’m the one in my mother’s position. I’m not as eloquent or specific as she was, though. I usually stick with saying, “You’d better watch yourself,” and excellent eye contact.

The whole authority thing that both my parents made seem so effortless is really costing me. I have to appear as if I always know what I’m doing and as if I am always in charge. If you have kids, you’re aware that they’re incredibly alert for any weakness on the parents’ part. In my case, the situation is a bit more urgent. I am 5 ft 5 in. Both of my sons are now taller than I am. At this point, they're probably able to bounce me on my head if they want.

However, for years I've been working on “the look.” In fact, while I was taking kenpo karate, I used it on the instructor. He was trying to impress on us that body language can be a powerful defense. So I assumed "the look" and stalked over to him. He took a step back. Whoa. And this guy is a 10th degree black belt. So maybe that means that I'm a master of "the look." Awesome!